04 March 2005

Oddities in Russian Life

It's always fun to watch a family coming apart at the seams, particularly when that family used to sup together as 5th Directorate KGB thugs (pace Medvedev). The back and forth, up and down (viz whore's draws) of the Gazprom (GAZ.P), Rosneft (traded nightly in expensive restaurants in Moscow) and Yuganskneftegas has actually reached a level of slapstick humor that Benny Hill would do well to emulate. A brief recap in case you have spent the last 10 years buried in a polar ice cap:

  1. The Soviet Union spends huge amounts of money discovering oil in Siberia
  2. The Soviet Union falls apart
  3. Well connected members of the young Komsomol do off with large chunks of cash and create a quasi-banking type institution
  4. The Russian government parks some of its meagre cash flows with the aforementioned quasi-banking type institution
  5. Vladimir Potanin takes a sabbatical from his own FIG (financial-industrial group) to parcel out some/all of the states juiciest assets in a deal called "loans-for-shares"
  6. Yuganskneftegas becomes the jewel in the crown of Yukos, a loose affiliation of warring clans which also included; Samaraneftegas, Tomsneft and a couple of other bits and pieces. Price paid; whatever government monies we had in our bank at the time the bid came up.
  7. Lots of unpleasantness some quasi-legal some involving rapid and fatal injections of lead before Yukos finds religion and becomes transparent; i.e. it works out that the market value is greater than the cash flow it can appropriate.
  8. 31 December 1999 President Yeltsin resigns. VV Putin steps in to the breach.
  9. Four-ish years VVP later replaces deeply compromised competence with 5th Directorate thugs (his friends). The Prime Minister was commonly known as Misha 2%.
  10. First Lebedev and then Khordokhovsky go to jail.
  11. Yuganskneftegas is stripped from Yukos because it could not pay its tax bill, except it could.... to be bought by...
  12. Baikal Finance, a company whose registered address is a hairdressing salon in buttfuck nowhere...
  13. Which was then acquired by Rosneft, a state-owned oil company run by a certain Bogdannichov. A CEO who would go down well with Enron, WorldCom etc shareholders
  14. Lots the "cheque is in the post" follows when it becomes clear that Rosneft can't afford to buy YuganskNG but the Ponzi scheme comes through in the end
A short break for some commentary: So far so good, unless you were allergic to lead, or Kenneth Dart. Whilst making too close a link to Soviet show trials ought to be seen as distasteful I have to draw a comparison. During the worst excesses of Stalin's regime, provided you made it to trial every attempt was made to "prove" the case. The mentality continues today thus the courts provided a useful way of legitimizing the transfer of YuganskNG to the 5th Directorate thugs. Even though it was abundantly clear what was going on we all play along and enjoy the game. This all works well when there is only one voice. However, as with all relationships founded on distrust they break-up sooner or later and this one has had me smiling all day. And thus to Point 15.

14. A Houston court (don't ask) decides it does not have jurisdiction (clearly, and I did not spend any time at law school)
15. Alexei Miller, Gazprom's CEO and Sergey Bogdannichov announce in a recorded statement on two tame state channels (there aren't any wild ones) that they have come to a long-awaited agreement as to merger
16. Then Rosneft says in a press release that the pre-agreed statement was wrong
17. Then the Press Release was possibly rescinded because Bogdannichov was "on holiday" - presumably the pressure of making his first TV program
18. Then it was denied that it was rescinded
19. Then it was announced that the Kremlin was going to make a statement.........but it hasn't

This has legs and will run.

My second piece of fun comes from British Airways.

Saturday I fly to the UK. Today Friday I buy my ticket from AmEx Travel by phone whilst bouncing around town. I would prefer an e-ticket which BA does, even in Russia. But for AmEx to issue me an e-ticket they have to go to BA's office to collect it, for which they want to charge me another $35. So it will be a paper ticket that I have to pick up myself, and hopefully won't lose.

and you don't want to hear about my attempt to open a bank account today.

Happy March 8th if you are lucky enough to be a woman.
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04 March 2005

Oddities in Russian Life

It's always fun to watch a family coming apart at the seams, particularly when that family used to sup together as 5th Directorate KGB thugs (pace Medvedev). The back and forth, up and down (viz whore's draws) of the Gazprom (GAZ.P), Rosneft (traded nightly in expensive restaurants in Moscow) and Yuganskneftegas has actually reached a level of slapstick humor that Benny Hill would do well to emulate. A brief recap in case you have spent the last 10 years buried in a polar ice cap:

  1. The Soviet Union spends huge amounts of money discovering oil in Siberia
  2. The Soviet Union falls apart
  3. Well connected members of the young Komsomol do off with large chunks of cash and create a quasi-banking type institution
  4. The Russian government parks some of its meagre cash flows with the aforementioned quasi-banking type institution
  5. Vladimir Potanin takes a sabbatical from his own FIG (financial-industrial group) to parcel out some/all of the states juiciest assets in a deal called "loans-for-shares"
  6. Yuganskneftegas becomes the jewel in the crown of Yukos, a loose affiliation of warring clans which also included; Samaraneftegas, Tomsneft and a couple of other bits and pieces. Price paid; whatever government monies we had in our bank at the time the bid came up.
  7. Lots of unpleasantness some quasi-legal some involving rapid and fatal injections of lead before Yukos finds religion and becomes transparent; i.e. it works out that the market value is greater than the cash flow it can appropriate.
  8. 31 December 1999 President Yeltsin resigns. VV Putin steps in to the breach.
  9. Four-ish years VVP later replaces deeply compromised competence with 5th Directorate thugs (his friends). The Prime Minister was commonly known as Misha 2%.
  10. First Lebedev and then Khordokhovsky go to jail.
  11. Yuganskneftegas is stripped from Yukos because it could not pay its tax bill, except it could.... to be bought by...
  12. Baikal Finance, a company whose registered address is a hairdressing salon in buttfuck nowhere...
  13. Which was then acquired by Rosneft, a state-owned oil company run by a certain Bogdannichov. A CEO who would go down well with Enron, WorldCom etc shareholders
  14. Lots the "cheque is in the post" follows when it becomes clear that Rosneft can't afford to buy YuganskNG but the Ponzi scheme comes through in the end
A short break for some commentary: So far so good, unless you were allergic to lead, or Kenneth Dart. Whilst making too close a link to Soviet show trials ought to be seen as distasteful I have to draw a comparison. During the worst excesses of Stalin's regime, provided you made it to trial every attempt was made to "prove" the case. The mentality continues today thus the courts provided a useful way of legitimizing the transfer of YuganskNG to the 5th Directorate thugs. Even though it was abundantly clear what was going on we all play along and enjoy the game. This all works well when there is only one voice. However, as with all relationships founded on distrust they break-up sooner or later and this one has had me smiling all day. And thus to Point 15.

14. A Houston court (don't ask) decides it does not have jurisdiction (clearly, and I did not spend any time at law school)
15. Alexei Miller, Gazprom's CEO and Sergey Bogdannichov announce in a recorded statement on two tame state channels (there aren't any wild ones) that they have come to a long-awaited agreement as to merger
16. Then Rosneft says in a press release that the pre-agreed statement was wrong
17. Then the Press Release was possibly rescinded because Bogdannichov was "on holiday" - presumably the pressure of making his first TV program
18. Then it was denied that it was rescinded
19. Then it was announced that the Kremlin was going to make a statement.........but it hasn't

This has legs and will run.

My second piece of fun comes from British Airways.

Saturday I fly to the UK. Today Friday I buy my ticket from AmEx Travel by phone whilst bouncing around town. I would prefer an e-ticket which BA does, even in Russia. But for AmEx to issue me an e-ticket they have to go to BA's office to collect it, for which they want to charge me another $35. So it will be a paper ticket that I have to pick up myself, and hopefully won't lose.

and you don't want to hear about my attempt to open a bank account today.

Happy March 8th if you are lucky enough to be a woman.

Posted by The Ruminator at 16:30

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