27 September 2006

Why Are All Russian Women So Skinny?

CopyDude has some nasty HTML in this post, but otherwise asks a valid question.

He also has a useful FAQ on Russian women, including Can You Marry a Russian Woman if You are Dead? (Yes in case you can't be bothered to click through the link.)

He however, misses out on a detailed description of the Babushka gene.  The Babushka gene has been found to have much in common with the Italian Mama gene but with nastier purple hair dye and considerably worse food.

The very simple answer to the question relates to the cigarettes smoked by the aforementioned Dyevchunki.  Not, as is widely assumed, because the nicotine helps stave off hunger pangs but because the effort to get a decent draw on the 00 (skinny) cigarettes is the equivalent to running a mile a drag/puff.

Why Are All Russian Women So Skinny?:

Skinny Russian Women are indeed a source of wonderment.

Skinniness is the prime reason why American men, who obsess about weight issues - except their own - flock to Russia to find a Russian wife. And within nanoseconds, they fall in love with the Russian Woman's embossed rib cage and breasts no more Michelin than a mosquito bite.

What is the explanation for this wonder of the modern world?

Russian Women Do Not Cook Or Eat In Any Meaningful Way
crab-09

Logically, girls who don't cook - (see Why Can't Russian Women Cook?) - are unlikely to eat in any meaningful way. But with Russian Women, this is more the result of vanity. As we know, the typical Russian Woman will spend an hour dressing up just to go round to the corner shop for a cabbage. They cannot allow even one false eyelash out of place. So any operation like eating food, that could risk matting their lip-gloss or leaving crumbs in the cleavage, is studiously avoided.

That vanity is essential to Russian Women is well-explained by the sociologist Nancy Etcoff in her book Survival Of The Prettiest.  Skinny Power is key to the Darwinian survival of Russian Women, whether in getting a job or in getting laid by a valuta suitor - a visiting foreigner with money. As Nancy herself puts it, No Vain, No Gain.

Like every rule, of course, there are exceptions. In Soviet times, non-skinny Russian women were sent to the Gulag. Today, however they are persuaded by the authorities to remain underground. As a result, the metro is packed with huge Russian women with square necks and protruding jowls wedged under a big fur hat. To me, Muscovite women all look like Santa Claus with lipstick. Fortunately, in Russia is well-regulated society, they are kept out of sight of visiting tourists and you would never know they existed.


[composed and posted with
ecto]


Technorati Tags:

No comments:

27 September 2006

Why Are All Russian Women So Skinny?

CopyDude has some nasty HTML in this post, but otherwise asks a valid question.

He also has a useful FAQ on Russian women, including Can You Marry a Russian Woman if You are Dead? (Yes in case you can't be bothered to click through the link.)

He however, misses out on a detailed description of the Babushka gene.  The Babushka gene has been found to have much in common with the Italian Mama gene but with nastier purple hair dye and considerably worse food.

The very simple answer to the question relates to the cigarettes smoked by the aforementioned Dyevchunki.  Not, as is widely assumed, because the nicotine helps stave off hunger pangs but because the effort to get a decent draw on the 00 (skinny) cigarettes is the equivalent to running a mile a drag/puff.

Why Are All Russian Women So Skinny?:

Skinny Russian Women are indeed a source of wonderment.

Skinniness is the prime reason why American men, who obsess about weight issues - except their own - flock to Russia to find a Russian wife. And within nanoseconds, they fall in love with the Russian Woman's embossed rib cage and breasts no more Michelin than a mosquito bite.

What is the explanation for this wonder of the modern world?

Russian Women Do Not Cook Or Eat In Any Meaningful Way
crab-09

Logically, girls who don't cook - (see Why Can't Russian Women Cook?) - are unlikely to eat in any meaningful way. But with Russian Women, this is more the result of vanity. As we know, the typical Russian Woman will spend an hour dressing up just to go round to the corner shop for a cabbage. They cannot allow even one false eyelash out of place. So any operation like eating food, that could risk matting their lip-gloss or leaving crumbs in the cleavage, is studiously avoided.

That vanity is essential to Russian Women is well-explained by the sociologist Nancy Etcoff in her book Survival Of The Prettiest.  Skinny Power is key to the Darwinian survival of Russian Women, whether in getting a job or in getting laid by a valuta suitor - a visiting foreigner with money. As Nancy herself puts it, No Vain, No Gain.

Like every rule, of course, there are exceptions. In Soviet times, non-skinny Russian women were sent to the Gulag. Today, however they are persuaded by the authorities to remain underground. As a result, the metro is packed with huge Russian women with square necks and protruding jowls wedged under a big fur hat. To me, Muscovite women all look like Santa Claus with lipstick. Fortunately, in Russia is well-regulated society, they are kept out of sight of visiting tourists and you would never know they existed.


[composed and posted with
ecto]


Technorati Tags:

No comments: